The news that Sony is working on a big-screen reboot for Sonic the Hedgehog should come as a surprise only to those who haven’t been paying attention to popular culture over the last few years. Taking things from our collective youth and rebuilding them into blockbuster movies is just what we do now, as one look at this year’s multiplex marquee will make very, very clear.
Of course, now that we’ve moved from ’80s revivalism into its ’90s counterpart with Sonic and this summer’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, you may worry that Hollywood is moving too quickly through the past, and is in danger of catching up with the pop culture of today before we’re finished with it the first time around. (Let’s be honest: if Battleship isn't the bottom of the barrel, we don't know what is.) To prevent pop from eating itself too quickly, we’ve decided to step in and suggest some forgotten gems that are ready for a big screen reboot.
Previously On: MASK was a toyline that ran from 1985 through 1988, along with an 1985 animated TV show that lasted one season. The concept centered around the Mobile Armored Strike Kommand (struggle acronym alert!), a group of anti-terrorist specialists locked in a battle against terrorist organization VENOM (which stood for Vicious Evil Network Of Mayhem. Yes, really). Thankfully, they had two special weapons: helmets that gave them super-powers, and everyday vehicles that transformed into…well, other vehicles that could be used to fight terrorism. Think GI Joe meets the Transformers, essentially.
Next Time: It’s actually surprising that no one has tried to reboot MASK already, because it feels perfectly primed for today’s audiences. Anti-terrorist operatives with technology that suggest spectacular CGI setpieces—isn’t that exactly what audiences want these days? Just tone down the colorful original costumes, add some tragic backstory, and deliver to Michael Bay to produce. Profit awaits.
Previously On: Everyone knows Lazer Tag, but perhaps fewer remember Lazer Tag Academy, an animated spin-off that lasted just three months on the air in 1986. The premise was shamelessly ripped off from Terminator—a hero travels back in time to protect contemporary teens from a threat that has also traveled back in time—only with promotional tie-ins and genetically-engineered henchmen.
Next Time: With Terminator seemingly in a permanent state of revival (Terminator Salvation stalled in 2009, but there are already new movies and television shows in the process for next year), why not take the central time-travel concept and see if that can work independent of killer robots? Add in the potential for Lazer Tag to capitalize on the gun-control debate for a cheap contemporary spin, and you’ve got something with as much potential as…well, a Captain Planet reboot, if nothing else.
Previously On: Admittedly, this one's a long shot. Kidd Video was a show that ran from 1984-1985 and featured a band of teens who were kidnapped into a cartoon dimension called “The Flipside” by an villain named Master Blaster. While there, they fought to free the world from Master Blaster’s rule while also trying to find a way home—all set to pop music of the day and with awkward connections to whatever was contemporary in pop culture at the time. Break dancing? Of course! Videogames? Sure!
Next Time: If there was ever a filmvehicle for us to parody ’80s culture, it’s this one. Simply bring teens from today into the Flipside, where it’s still 1984 in terms of visuals, fashion, and music, and let the snark flow. For full effect, bring in someone like Will Ferrell to voice a grown-up version of Kidd Video’s lead singer, who remains trapped in the cartoon world 30 years later. The mix of knowing nostalgia and lowest-common-denominator humor almost writes itself.
Previously On: The concept behind the Madballs toyline, which launched in 1987, was simple: what if you made balls, but they looked like ugly monsters and had funny names like “Screamin Meemie” or “Oculus Orbus”? An animated series that launched that same year expanded on that, introducing a second group of Madballs called the “Badballs,” and the alien planet “Orb” where they had all originated from. Because, you know, it’s not as if they just came out of anywhere.
Next Time: The Madballs toyline was resurrected a few years back, and it’s obviously time that someone did the same for the franchise in terms of storytelling. We’d need to rename the planet, of course—"Orb” is just a little too on the nose, making Transformers’ “Cybertron” seem subtle in comparison—and bring in a small child and/or attractive woman who discovers the Madballs and acts as an audience stand-in, depending on the age-range we’re going for. Trust us, this idea has legs. Unlike the Madballs themselves.
Previously On: Debuting as both a toyline and animated series in 1986 (and disappearing from television screens and store shelves not long afterwards), Inhumanoids was Pacific Rim three decades early, with the government-funded “Earth Corps" discovering and then fighting with the titular monsters from the Earth’s core.
Next Time: Pacific Rim is the perfect blueprint for a revival: Ramp up the visual spectacle of the monsters, and play up the mystery of their origins. Obviously, going too far in the horror direction would alienate the potential for summer blockbuster dollars, but following in the footsteps of PR and Godzilla is the way to go. The fact that there’s also a human team of heroes with toyetic technology to fight back? Well, that’s just merchandising gravy (and material you could leave for a sequel).
Previously On: Another short-lived toyline and animated series (This one from 1988), C.O.P.S. (Central Organization of Police Specialists) took place in the then-distant future of 2020 with the best crime fighters in the country—who, unsurprisingly, all have particular abilities that make for good action figures—being brought to Empire City to take down the villainous Big Boss. And yes, his name is actually Big Boss, because hello 1980s toy line.
Next Time: While most blockbusters trend towards grim determination and toned-down aesthetics compared with their source material, there’s something about the bluntness of C.O.P.S.’ concept that invites something else. Imagine a movie that’s as colorful and fast-paced as Speed Racer or Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, where the likes of “Bulletproof” Vess (Half-man, half-robot, all cop!) and “Longarm” O’Malley (An officer with a grappling hook for handcuffs!) could let their authoritarian freak flags fly as gloriously as possible. The tagline of the toyline was “Fighting Crime in a Future Time.” Picture a movie that manages to live up to that in terms of color, visual overload and fast-paced craziness. That’s the kind of counter-programming that C.O.P.S. needs. And now that Edgar Wright isn't doing anything else these days, we know just the filmmaker for the job.
